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Aloha, Stranger: Taylor Kitsch and Rihanna are somewhere down there beholding the might of an alien invasion force in BATTLESHIP.
The aliens have landed! Yes. Again. This time they’ve invaded off the coast of Hawaii, so it’s just like Pearl Harbor, if the attack on Pearl Harbor had included such devastating weaponry as Giant Exploding Pegs and Hot-Rodding Robot Fireballs. Can slacker sailor Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), finding himself in command of the lone, surviving ship and assisted by crewmate Rihanna and visiting captain Tadanobu Asano (just to prove we’re all over Pearl Harbor), find a way of defeating the enemy? Can Hopper’s fiancee Brooklyn Decker, with the help of (actual) double amputee Greg Gadson, destroy the island-based satellite substation before the invading force can signal their cohorts, even as her father, the Admiral (Liam Neeson), stands on the sidelines, shaking his fist and screaming, “Hopperrrrrr!!!” (not really, but close enough)? C’mon, it’s a movie based on a board game — are these really questions?
Come join Cinefantastique Online’s Steve Biodrowski, Lawrence French, and Dan Persons as they debate whether director Peter Berg might have been better served doing a film called CROCODILE DENTIST. Also: Dan gives his capsule review of LOVELY MOLLY, the new exercise in ominous horror by BLAIR WITCH’s Eduardo Sanchez. Plus: What’s coming to theaters.
